Blue Toilet Water |2()><()|2z

There are two kinds of people in the world. There are the people who shit at work and there are the people who abstain from this practice. I unabashfully fall into the first demographic. Few moments of my day are as enjoyable as that good 10 minutes I spend in the bathroom. Far from the users I serve, I am able to relax and have some "me" time in the middle of my day. How I pity those that have not yet learned of this wonderful method to take an abrupt break whenever necessary.

Now unfortunately as fate would have it, the floor on which I work only has one bathroom with two stalls. It is shared by faculty, staff, and students and often it becomes quite an unpleasant area after heavy usage. This is why I have now learned to look for (and schedule around the presence of) the blue toilet water. You see, the custodians who clean the bathrooms use a blue cleaning product on the toilets. This product can only been seen prior to the first flush of the toilet following a cleaning. Therefore, whenever the water is blue I know that I am the privledged first person to make use of the facilities. No other ass has yet warmed the great throne. This bathroom and toilet is now cleaner than my personal one at home.

Indeed, how glorious it is to find blue toilet water in the office bathroom.

I was driving to work today and I found myself stopped at a light. On the ground to my right was a really tiny bird with a huge branch in his mouth. He tried to get off the ground three or four times with the branch but it looked like he was really struggling with it. Finally there came a point where he did his little hop-step-jump manuever towards traffic and lifted off at what seemed like it was the last possible second before an untimely death. He managed to clear the cars with the branch in his mouth and fly back across the street with an empty mouth a few moments later.

Now here is where I build some analogies with my life (bear with me, I'm not claiming this is particulary insightful). The bird is trying to build a home for his future. I am trying to build a home for my future. The weight of branch represents the weight on my life of taking a huge mortgage and essentially forcing myself to live in Ann Arbor for next few years. The risk of the cars hitting the bird is the risk of being in debt under the weight of the mortgage and if I can't carry the mortgage I will default on the debt and fall (although the bird is risking much more, bankrupcy in America is like a death). The bird making the running start without looking back represents the commitment that must be present in this type of a decision. Finally, the bird coming back for more sticks shows that building a home (or security or a family) is an ongoing process that really is never done.

But hey, the bird's risk paid off. He cleared the street. He added to the nest. And soon, he's going to be getting laid in his new home. Go bird go.