Political Group Classifications as Explained by the Minds Behind South Park

This is a transcript from a new movie titled "Team America: World Police" which is produced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park fame. Pardon the language as it is probably offensive to you. The basic idea is that Americans are dicks, especially those that support our administration's approach to terrorism. The socialist world and liberals in America are the pussies. And the terrorists, fittingly, are assholes. The metaphors work well in the context they are used and I was laughing pretty hard at this part of the movie. I actually think this is pretty clever, but yea that should tell you a lot about me. Again, I apologize for the language.

"I know you all don't like Team America right now but, Kim Jong Il is a lot worse.... We're dicks, we are recklous arrogant stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies might think they can deal with assholes. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick....with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much. Or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy crazy world. But I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit."

I have an interview with Microsoft later today. Of course I've nervous and so I did what I always do when in thinking/stressing/worrying about something, I searched for help on the Internet. If figured that it might be in my interest to review some programming techniques and concepts. So I visted my old friends the heap sort, the binary tree, recursion....

Good old recursion, one of those things that can make you feel like an idiot. I remembered a pharse I heard once that went something like: "To iterate is human, to recurse is divine". I couldn't remember where I had heard it from so I googled "recursion divine" and this is what I jumped up at me (from http://boingdragon.com/recurse.htm):

Divine Recursion

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Bob took a deep breath and dialed the number. "You only get to call once, Bob, so don't blow it," he muttered, trying to keep the shudder out of his voice. He brought the receiver to his ear and sweated for what seemed an eternity waiting for the line to connect.

Finally, he heard the other end ring.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Click.

"Hello, Bob," a deep, rich voice said. "What can I do for you?"

Bob swallowed hard. "Uh...um...Is this really God?"

"Yes, it really is. Now get to the point, Bob, I'm a very busy deity." There was just the slightest hint of irony in God's voice.

"Well...uh....You see, I just wanted to know, uh, what's the meaning of... uh... you know... life."

"The Answer," intoned God over the phone, "is the Question, and the Question is the Answer."

"Er," began Bob, sorely perplexed, "Er, how so?"

"Well, Bob, I've been around for a long time. A really, really amazingly huge amount of time. So long that even I do not remember my own origin, or whether I even have one. Because of this, I have spent countless eternities pondering my own purpose in life. I could never come up with a satisfactory reason for my own existence, and I have therefore concluded that I cannot find such an answer due to my paradoxical nature. So I created the Universe and all of the Life in it to find out the answer for me. Do you understand now, Bob?"

"Eh," Bob replied, hoping he didn't appear too dim in the eyes of God. "Not quite," he said.

God gave forth a truly cosmic sigh. "It is my hope, Bob, that somewhere within Life's infinite diversity in infinite combinations there will arise a final, conclusive solution to the meaning to it all."

"Uh," spake Bob, "could you maybe put it in, uh, simpler terms?"

Again, God sighed. "I'll put it as simply as possible for you, Bob: The Meaning of Life is to discover the Meaning of Life."

"But," Bob sputtered, "but that's recursive - it keeps addressing itself in its own definition! How will we ever know when we've found it?"

"I'm sorry, Bob, but your two minutes are up."

Click.